Monday 7/2 will be marked in my life forever.. Never will i forget it! The players for the tournament were announced today! *yingzi*'s not playing .. she is a FIRST RESERVE! Alright, first reserve i am ! Trying very hard to accept this fact. If i say i am not sad that's definately not true.

I was given hope and now it was smashed in just a matter of a few minutes when the names were announced.. Is it my fault that i am not playing? Or because of others? Here i am unable to accept the fact and feeling super sad.. I don't want be some table manager ever again.

I want to be useful and play.. I am not looking forward to trainings anymore.. This is the first time i am looking forward to O's .. So that i won't need to go for trainings anymore.. *yingzi* must stay strong and survive throgh this.. [ I will survive] ..